Ariana Grande gave her first public statement about Mac Miller since his fatal overdose on September 7. The pop star had posted a black-and-white photograph in honor of her ex-boyfriend a couple of days after his death, though it didn’t include a caption. She had also disabled Instagram comments after trolls began to publicly and viciously blame her for Miller’s death.
“I adored you from the day i met you when i was nineteen and i always will,” wrote Grande in the caption of a video she’d taken of Miller sitting across from her at a candlelit table. She addresses her disbelief and grief over her ex-boyfriend’s death, and acknowledges the rapper’s struggle with addiction; “we talked about this,” she wrote. “so many times. i’m so mad, i’m so sad i don’t know what to do.”
“You were my dearest friend. for so long. above anything else. i’m so sorry i couldn’t fix or take your pain away,” writes Grande, as though she expected to be able to, despite knowing she couldn’t.
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i adored you from the day i met you when i was nineteen and i always will. i can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. i really can’t wrap my head around it. we talked about this. so many times. i’m so mad, i’m so sad i don’t know what to do. you were my dearest friend. for so long. above anything else. i’m so sorry i couldn’t fix or take your pain away. i really wanted to. the kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. i hope you’re okay now. rest.
Grande and Miller began dating in 2016 and broke up in May of this year. Under scrutiny for “jumping into” a relationship with SNL‘s Pete Davidson, Grande released a statement in her own defense in which she called her relationship with Miller “toxic.”
“I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety & prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course),” she wrote. “But shaming/blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his shit together is a very major problem.”