Having a big butt is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, women like Nicki Minaj have paved the way for us to be sexy, curvy and every man’s dream. But, it’s hard to be super happy with your behind when you have to constantly worry about how you look, where you’re going to find some pants that fit you and – you’re always looking like a girl in a rap video.
1. Every skirt becomes a mini-skirt.
No matter what size you get it in or how long it is on the rack, your big ol’ booty makes it look way, way shorter.
2. You can never find good jeans.
Whenever you find a pair you like, they either don’t fit around the butt, or they do and they’re too loose on the waist.
3. Therefore, you’re always wearing belts.
You have to get that waistband tight around your skin, so the tightest notch on the belt is your go-to.
4. Ripping pants has happened, multiple times.
Your favorite pair of jeans? Well, cherish them as long as you possibly can, it’s only a matter of time before you end up ripping them right down the middle.
5. Certain chairs just don’t do it for you.
When you’re in college or high school and you have to squeeze your butt into those attached chair/desks, prepare to have a bit of side booty hanging off the edge.
6. People can never buy you clothing as gifts.
Your pants size varies so much that people would think you are 12 different people when going through your wardrobe.
7. Leggings are your best friend/worst enemy.
Whenever you wear leggings, they either are too tight where they’re see-through or, they look like spandex or lingerie.
8. You always think people are checking out your ass.
Walking in front of anyone is always nerve-wracking because you think people are always staring at your backside.
9. Any outfit looks slutty, without even trying.
Dresses always are too short, bikinis look like thongs, shorts look like underwear – it’s not our fault, it just happens.
10. You’ve heard “Baby Got Back” 10439483209483290 times.
And your friends love to sing it to you constantly.
11. You look like you belong in a rap music video.
Even though you really are in graduate school getting your masters.
12. Your plumbers crack is real…Too real.
Be careful when you bend over, your underwear always makes a guest appearance without your permission.
13. Roller coasters, airplane seats and train seats are your biggest enemies.
Don’t sit next to me on the train, I’m sorry that I take up my seat and yours.
14. People always think you can twerk.
I really, really, really have no idea how to shake my ass. I’m sorry to break your heart.
15. You always end up with one kind of guy.
“I’m an ass guy more than a boobs guy.”
16. Photos always make you look bigger than you actually are.
For some reason, your booty makes everything else just seem….big.
17. You always get compared to a Kardashian.
F*ck Kim and her fake butt.