Retail Workers Are Sharing The Most Absurd Things That Have Ever Happened To Them

If you’ve ever worked in retail, you know that there are a lot of downfalls to the job. Sure, you get some discounts (emphasis on some), but you also have to deal with pain-in-the-ass, annoying, complaining customers. While working retail all year round basically blows, there’s nothing quite like the hell that is working retail during the holidays.

You have to work long hours, for sh*t money—and, customers are RAGING for sales. If you can’t find the exact thing they’re looking for at the perfect discounted price—you’re as good as dead. You might as well stay home and cry yourself to sleep, because it beats crying in a fitting room, hiding from angry moms.

1.

“I work at a drugstore. One day a woman came in and she couldn’t speak much English. All she could say was ‘clean, clean.’ The cashier couldn’t understand what she wanted, so we called a manager over. She pointed to her vagina and said ‘clean clean.’ We pointed her to the feminine care aisle and she bought three douches. She went to the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later. As she walked out, she looked at the cashier, smiled, and said, ‘clean clean.'”

precisetester00

2.

“I once had a customer who came into Nordstrom with a fake gift card on his phone. He kept insisting that he used it on one of the floors to buy some clothes. So finally he burst into screaming and called us incompetent because we couldn’t make his fake gift card work.”

denisseelizabethaldana

3.

“When I was in high school, I worked for a discount retailer that sold home goods. We were closing one Friday night and one of my coworkers told the manager on duty to come to the glassware section to help her clean up a broken glass item. We had a display of vases and one was filled with liquid — someone had peed in a vase.”

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4.

“We were making our routine checks in our fitting rooms, and a customer hadn’t locked their door and we accidentally opened it. We found them bent over, pulling their ass cheeks apart and having a good old look at their booty hole.”

clairelouisea3

5.

“I kid you not, someone literally took a dump right in the middle of the store. Luckily, I had just clocked out so I bolted out of there.”

emmperreault

6.

“It was just about closing time, and I went to make sure all the merchandise had been put back from the dressing rooms. One of the doors wasn’t shut all the way, and I absentmindedly pushed it open to reveal a completely nude man with no merchandise in the stall with him. He had just walked in and stripped.”

emilygoheen1018

7.

“I worked in customer service for a couple of years. One day, a man brought in a toilet seat to return it. I don’t remember why he didn’t like it, but I DO remember that it was USED and it WAS NOT clean. The manager made us take it back — a used, nasty, not-been-cleaned toilet seat.”

-jessicarayc

8.

“Some girl changed her panty liner in the fitting room and left it rolled up behind the mirror.”

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9.

“I had a customer come in while I was alone in the store, and immediately ask: “Are you open-minded?” He proceeded to tell me that he was going to be attending a fetish party and would be totally naked, but needed a place to keep his cash. I akwardly sold him a money belt. Go me.”

blonkers

10.

I had a customer trying on pants in the fitting room in my dept and the next thing I knew she was screaming bloody murder… the last person who had tried on those pants left a nasty ass dirty tampon in one of the pockets. I almost barfed I was so disgusted but I felt even worse for the lady who stuck her hand in the pocket and actually touched it.

kirstenj4bba4855a

Lex Gabrielle

Written by Lex Gabrielle

Lex is a writer from New York City who supports messy buns and all things covered in buffalo sauce. You can find her in your local coffee shop buried in social media and celebrity content, listening to Led Zeppelin on full volume.