When you ask married people about being married, the majority of spouses love to complain about the sour aspects of marriage. Husbands b*tch and moan about how much their wife spends and how much space in the closet she takes up. Wives love to complain about how men never help around the house and never do their own laundry.
They’ll list 1,000 things they fight about before they finally find something nice to say about being married. Luckily, there are those few that truly speak of the underrated and undervalued aspects of being married to the love of your life.
The little things. I LOSE things like crazy so when we are at the airport, I just hand over any paper to him AND HE TAKES IT. Get this, he then knows to do something with it so I don’t have to.
When we’re shopping, he carries my bags without asking. (I’ve had medical issues and get dizzy at times.) If I go outside to take the trash and it just is too long, he comes right out looking for me (again because medical reasons but I’m usually chatting with the neighbor.
When his check engine light comes on, I just take care of it because he doesn’t speak car.
Laughing because your spouse is giggling to the point of crying. My husband and I find a lot of the same things funny, but when he finds something extremely funny and can’t stop laughing it just makes me laugh too. Sometimes when we watch comedies we have to pause for laugh breaks so we don’t miss anything.
When you both get sick at the same time and you get to watch several days worth of horrible movies together while sharing one tub of vap-o-rub.
People don’t get how amazing a shared history can be. Picture a shitty phonecall from your parent. You hang up, are in a complicated emotional funk.
Being married often means your spouse not only knew this was coming, they know exactly the next seven stages of emotional turmoil/calming/hilarity that will ensue and they roll with it. A good wife or husband normalizes your neurosis and keeps you on an even keel just by having been there throughout.
Being able to know someone so well and be known so well that when you suggest things to each other, you’re almost guaranteed to like them.
My husband has introduced me to so many movies, tv shows, books, musicians, podcasts, etc that I never thought I’d enjoy but I LOVE! And vice versa. It’s a big part of our relationship and I don’t hear others talk about it at all.
Having a person you can sit with and not have to talk. “Comfortable silence,” as Mrs. Mia Wallace might say.
Having someone that can check you on your shit, in a respectful and loving way. Do I smell weird? Is my hair fucked up? Did I say “uh” too many times when we role played for a job interview? My husband is always honest with me and I need that grounding in my life.
Having someone who you feel no shame with. I just washed my wife’s whole body CNA style after a major surgery. We laughed the entire time, especially when I cleaned her crack. Good times.
Having someone who believes in you when you’re not sure you believe in yourself. I can’t even tell you how how much more confident and successful I am simply because my wife says things like: “You are amazing. You can do anything.” Even when I feel like I am not particularly good at ANYTHING.
The inside jokes.
Back scratching. And, having a good excuse to bail when work asks you to stay late or come in early ( or anything else anyone asks you to do that you don’t want to do): “Sure! I’m down as long as my wife is okay with it!” Then, after some time has passed ostensibly for you to call her, you just say, “Man, you know that I would totally be there, but, the wife has already made plans for us all day… Sorry!”
Having someone to split breakfast orders with at restaurants: No more choosing between sweet and savory, you can have it all!
Tag-team embarrassing your kids. “Hey, honey, let’s wear our matching Disney t-shirts out to dinner tonight!”
Talking shit about other people together.
Finding someone who fills in all your shortcomings, and whose shortcomings you are perfectly suited to fill.
My wife is a god damn super star at planning things. Once she’s got a vacation, or an event, or any other kind of plan in mind, she absolutely owns it from top to bottom.
However, if one little thing goes wrong, she can lose her mind and not know how to react or pivot.
On the other hand, I am terrible at planning shit. I’ll wait until two weeks before a vacation to plan it, overpay on everything, and have to settle for lesser versions of what I wanted to do because I didn’t put in the work ahead of time.
However, I’m really, really good at improvising on the spot. If dinner reservations we’ve had for months fail for whatever reason, I’m the one who can find three other spots nearby within the same price range in ten minutes.
She’s the long-term, I’m the short-term, and when our powers combine, we’re one fully-functioning adult!
Saying “my wife” in the borat voice.
Dominating at Pictionary.
I’m one scribble in and she’s like, “That’s a squid .”
Snuggles. Words cannot do justice being able to cuddle up to my partner and knowing she’ll make this ‘relaxed’ murmur sound even when she’s dead asleep. I wouldn’t give it up for the world. I hate sleeping alone now. SHE’S RUINED ME!
Travel. And having traveled together. I’m sure journeys are very enjoyable even by yourself, but having someone else with whom you share the experiences, the wow moments, the beautiful vistas, the unique experiences, the museums, the architecture– it makes it richer for both of you.
Having someone to bring energy into the home. My husband is currently away on business and the house just feels so stagnant without him. I found myself missing all the things that usually annoy me; how he’s always clamoring around and singing and talking to himself in the background.
Someone to bring you a roll of toilet paper when the bathroom’s run out.
Shared hatred. Hating the same people, hating the same places, hating the same foods, hating the same activities. Some families try to be picture perfect all the time while my wife and I just sit around petty as hell 24/7.
I hate doing laundry, my wife doesn’t mind. My wife hates cooking, I enjoy it… When you can share or even get rid of a chore that you hate.
Seriously, for me the most underrated part is just having someone in your corner all the time. Like, instant backup, anywhere, anytime. From dealing with rude rando’s, to rescuing you from boring situations, to sharing that last glass of wine, to commiserating about family/coworkers stress, to picking up your favorite treat from the bakery, I was completely surprised by how deeply awesome a true partnership can be.
It’s effectively a permanent 50% discount on all rent.
I was like a compass with only East and West on it. The wife adds the North and South. She put my life on paths I never thought I was capable of taking.
The crazy stories my husband and I tell of our adventures of married life like the trip from Ohio to Oklahoma, or when the moving truck decided to almost break down on our long distance move from WV to Florida. We joke about it because when life got tough we had each other. It’s like a sleepover every night with your best friend! He’s my best friend I cannot imagine life without him.
When we get into my husbands car he always turn the seat warmer on for me.
I’m always cold, and I have a bad back, the seat warmers both warm me up and soothe my lower back. He turns on the seat warmer before he even puts the car in drive. He never says anything when he does it, he never asks… he just knows I like it.
It’s like having two brains in one to store memories. Everything you do together you’ll both remember different parts of what happened. When you’re recollecting holiday trips, little adventures, mundane moments the other person becomes this extra storage space for memories. I’ve heard people who are widowed miss this significantly— having felt like half of themselves is missing for this reason.
Always wearing a ring. I use it as a “am I getting fat?”-o meter by how loose or tight it is.
Absolute unadulterated freedom to be as fucking weird as we want. I love to sing popular songs with completely wrong lyrics…usually singing about whatever I’m doing. I know it can be annoying. My wife just laughs at my weirdness. I talk so much shit to NPCs when I’m gaming and sometimes she will join in and berate them too. We never worry about acting silly and I’ve never been happier with another human ever in my life. I teared up a bit writing this because it reminds me how incomparably beautiful her soul is to me.
The pep talks.
I came home almost weeping because I really messed up at work (it really wasn’t as bad as I thought). She patted my back and told me whatever happens we’ll be ok.
She then made the worst case scenario sound not so bad.
I’ve done the same thing for her before.
But that support, especially when you’re about to completely break down, can keep you from some dark places.
Sometimes you just want to tell somebody about your poop. We’re very romantic.
That warm happy feeling I get when I hear his car pull up in the driveway at the end of the day.
I’m going the shallow route. I can just stare at my wife’s boobs and she doesn’t care. In fact, she thinks it’s cute. No being discreet, just straight creeper staring.