In life, people are very quick to throw around the world “selfish.” Why? Because when someone sees you doing something for yourself, big or small, they wonder why you are not doing for others. In reality, taking care of ourselves is the most important thing we can ever do. If we are taken care of—mentally, physically, and emotionally—then we can take care of others, too. But, if we cannot take care of others, that does not make us a bad person. All in all, there are many things people will call “selfish,” but, are actually not at all.
Acknowledging that you don’t have the power/resources to care for a loved one and seeking help from a nursing home or adult protective services.
Dementia is no fucking joke and it can slowly kill the souls of the family as well as the person suffering from the disease. Caregiver burnout can lead to psychoses, heart attacks, strokes, and suicide. These diseases can cause sufferers to become abusive and violent. The commercial ideal of the well-kept grandma who occasionally forgets things is so, so far from the truth for many families.
It’s sad and causes so much guilt and anguish, but that’s the reality we must live with.
Being judicious with your time and energy, when people ask you to do things.
Telling your family “no” when you feel you have maxed out your contribution to whatever cause they are campaigning. Especially when their methods of negotiation include applying guilt.
Limiting contact with a friend whose issues are now affecting your own happiness. You have to look out for yourself, too.
Healthy firm relationship boundaries.
saying no to people. you dont have to always help people if it will spread you too thin. self preservation is a thing.
Thinking about yourself first. You’re no good to others if you aren’t good to yourself.
Sometimes it’s insanely healthy to be with yourself.
Sometimes the timing doesn’t mesh with others’ lives.
Cutting off toxic family members/in-laws. I have cut my narcissistic abusive sister out of my life and I am in the process of cutting off my mother-in-law. Life is too short to allow abuse into your life because your abuser is a family member.
You are told when on a flight that if the oxygen masks come down, put yours on first before you try to put them on your child.
You can get yours on relatively quickly, but if you’re spending all your oxygen trying to fight your kid first, that’s asking for trouble and it might not be enough time to do both that way