Long before the days of online free play that allow us to play video games against complete strangers around the world, before the days of social media, and before the days of cell phones and texting–we had to find things to keep us busy, occupied, and entertained. Lucky for some of us, we had “The Sims.”
I’m not talking about “The Sims 2,” or “The Sims 3,” or even “The Sims 4.” I’m not talking about “The Sims” that allows you to build an entire city, talk to actual people, or live a crazy, wild life–I’m talking the bare bones, original, OG Sims–it looked like this:
If you were as obsessed with the game as I was as a kid, there are some things you know to be 150% true.
1. The creators loved Comic Sans MS.
2. And, only believed that all personalities consist of 5 specific factors.
3. No matter how hard you tried, you could never use every room in the big mansion.
4. But, you did place your furniture (and toilets) wherever the f**k you wanted.
5. Including outside.
6. When you forgot to take out the garbage, all hell broke loose.
7. If you don’t read the paper, you get no more papers.
8. All the original furniture was basic AF.
9. Except for that vibrating bed that promised every experience to be ~*magical*~
10. And, the world’s most expensive toilet (that always broke).
11. To afford any of it, you had to cheat using rosebud, or motherlode.
12. You had no idea that there were this many career options…
13. Your Sims went from 0-100 real quick.
14. But labor was always a breeze.
15. But, if your kids were dumb, they disappeared forever.
16. The Sims language was one of a kind.
17. No Sim truly understands how to put out a fire.
18. I mean, not one.
19. Or, get out of a pool without a ladder.
20. Or make it to the bathroom.
21. These prank calls were weird–and annoying.
22. Also, this guy always came over uninvited.
23. And, you can’t believe how much they’ve “upgraded” the characters since the OG version.