The 97 Most Unfortunate Names In Human History

Not everyone loves their name. Maybe you feel like there are too many Kevins or Rachels, or that your parents getting creative by spelling “Ashley” like “Aeshly” isn’t doing you any favors. Whatever your reason, at least you don’t have to walk around as “Dick Weiner” or “Karen Gobbledick.” Their parents must’ve had them and thought, “let’s ruin their life from the start.”

1. Pop a bottle for Chardonnay Hooker.
unfortunate-chick-names

2. *Extremely Alec Baldwin Voice*
harry-baals

3. At least she’s happy.
jolly-mangina

4. Jesus Condom Saves.
jesus-condom

5. I’m Sorry Miss Jackson.
marijuana-name

6. At least she made it into the industry.
poon-ho

7. Never trust a Steve.
shart-last-name

8. Yes, it’s his real name.
yearbook-actual-name

9. Why settle for just one?
worst-news-names

10. He’s here.
worst-names-ever

11. Middle school was hard for Robert.
worst-name-ever

12. Brownie points.
worst-girl-names

13. Paging Dr. Shit.
worst-doctor-names

14. Kid has a lot to live up to.
worst-baby-name-ever

15. America’s newest sweetheart.
misty-hyman-name-fail

16. Gross.
weiner-name-fail

17. Didn’t go with ‘Richard.’
weiner-dick

18. Watch out.
unfortunate-names

19. Every day.
unfortunate-name

20. Like Bop-It, but better.
wank-name

21.
unfortunate-name-photo

22.
unfortunate-male-name

23.
unfortunate-doctor-names

24.
tiny-dick-name

25.
tiny-kox

26.
telephone-book-name

27.
tara-cherry

28.
sports-name-fails

29.
shame-name

30.
pro-sports-names

31.
physician-name-fail

32.
phat-ho

33.
ok-suk-whang

34.
name-worst-eve

35.
last-name-fail

36.
long-wang

37.
name-bad-worse

38.
parenting-name-fail

39.
unfortunate-female-names

40.
worst-athlete-name

Edward Stockwell

Written by Edward Stockwell

Edward is the creator of dumb things you've chuckled at and Senior Content Strategist at Bloomjoy.

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