What is it about Florida that makes it such a cuckoo bananas place? The heat? The humidity? The swamps? We may never be able to pinpoint why, but it’s clear that something’s going on there because the state is like America’s Australia. It’s a location that happens to be the setting for a lot of truly outrageous news stories. The words “Florida man” (and “Florida woman,” let’s not leave out the ladies) occur together so often in bizarre headlines that there’s even a Twitter account (@FloridaMan) dedicated to posting the best of Florida’s incredible local news stories.
That guy who asked cops to test his meth in case it was “bad”? That was Florida. The woman who claimed a bag of cocaine was found in her purse because the wind blew it in there? Florida. Naked dude stealing a swan? Yup.
Student and Twitter user @g_pratimaaa posted a tweet making use of the natural hilarity of “Florida man” stories that quickly went viral. She urged everyone to Google “florida man” and the date of their birthday (no year) and see what came up. Seriously, do this. Right now, stop reading this (or okay, maybe wait until afterward) and Google it. It’s a great way to explore all that Florida has to offer in the way of weird news.
EVERYBODY google “florida man” followed by your birthday (florida man august 22) and tell me what you get. mine is Florida Man tries to attack neighbor with tractor
— swervin merv (@g_pratimaaa) March 19, 2019
Lest people think she was taking credit for inventing the meme, she added another tweet explaining that she got the idea from a Tumblr post.
this idea came from @ gandalfsoda on tumblr!!! pic.twitter.com/wCouGZuYjA
— swervin merv (@g_pratimaaa) March 20, 2019
The results, while honestly horrific, are also pure gold.
— Patrick Joy (@JetSet024) March 21, 2019
— Nate (@nedwards8) March 21, 2019
They must have had a very violent imaginary relationship.
— Danielle ✨ (@danni_elder) March 21, 2019
He was just holding them for someone.
— Daddy (@BloodyfasterTV) March 21, 2019
What is it with Florida and swans?
— kels🥀 (@kelsher_) March 21, 2019
Look, they are pretty annoying.
Baha 😂 what is this pic.twitter.com/Pb1BiVjJ46
— |•Estephany •| (@E_Mtzzzz) March 21, 2019
— Autobiography out NOW (@DaftLimmy) March 21, 2019
This guy was not set up well in life.
— James Such (@JamesSuch123) March 21, 2019
Also, what is it with Florida and naked crime? Yes, it’s hot, but come on.
Oh my 😂. pic.twitter.com/wlBI0HOFjt
— Cale Brunkhorst (@CBrunk15) March 21, 2019
Any port in a storm, I guess.
— Ellison Brunkhorst (@ElliBrunkhorst) March 21, 2019
Even John Legend (a.k.a. Mr. Chrissy Teigen) got in on it.
— John Legend (@johnlegend) March 21, 2019
On some days the results were too good to narrow down.
Decisions, decisions… pic.twitter.com/skKOOQ1RFb
— Adam Maddox (@MaddoxTellsAll) March 21, 2019
I mean, I had to screengrab the results because I couldn’t choose just one. pic.twitter.com/X0vXsx6KdZ
— Rich Eisen (@richeisen) March 21, 2019
If at first you don’t find a strange Florida story on your birthday, just search a little more. It’s there.
I gotchu. This happened on Aug 21st as well pic.twitter.com/UHMeqxbfM2
— King Mo Ice🍥 (@IsaakMo) March 21, 2019
One person tweeted that there was no Florida man article on their birthday, but another stranger kindly offered up theirs: “Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone pulled over for driving ‘footmobile.'” Thanks, Florida!
— Jess (@spaceyteen) March 21, 2019
And to be fair, not all of them were bad stories. Well, this one about a strip tease in a restaurant could be terrible…
Me lmao pic.twitter.com/jgcT9tQE4E
— 𝐀𝐃𝐈 𝐕𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐍🦋 (@AdileneArmani) March 21, 2019
But this one about a man and his cat reuniting is undeniably heartwarming.
March 22 ☺️ pic.twitter.com/DqpzP7m9IY
— the_babymalu (@the_babymalu) March 21, 2019
Unless he did something to the cat afterwards which I’m sure he didn’t but I’m just saying: Florida, man.