Here’s How Some Male Authors For Real Described Women In Books

You know how sometimes you’ll be reading a book by a male author and there’ll be something written about women, about our bodies or our behavior, that’s so off that it’s honest to God hilarious? Oh, it’s frustrating for sure that men don’t take the time or make the effort to write women in a believable way, but sometimes they’re just so off, especially when it comes to sex or any mention of our boobage, that all you can do is laugh.

Here’s a tweet that sums the whole thing up fairly well:

Men writing women badly is such a widespread thing there’s even a subReddit for it, MenWritingWomen. Posted there are the most egregious examples of preposterous writing. Read on and learn a thing or two about your menstrual cycle!

1. Yes, because this is how breasts move.

2. Uh huh, that’s definitely how bodies work.

3. “But what about the emotions of the breasts??”

4. Those sexy, sexy nostrils. This man really “nose” (see what I did there) his erogenous zones.

5. Um, how hard was she shaking her head?

6. “Yup, I’m definitely an expert at women’s periods. And an entire cycle is three days. And it follows the days of the week.”

7. Dude, take a break and go eat something.

8. Nothing quite as sexy as “breast flesh” smooshed into an athletic bra.

9. “I don’t need to look up anything about how women’s insides work—I’ve seen a lot of kids menus.”

10. Ah, another expert on menstruation!

11. She didn’t even have to shower or brush her hair, she was THAT sexy.

12. “Joggled”?? “JOGGLED”?!?!

13. “Hmm, how can I make goosebumps super sexy?”

14. When you’re searching for the perfect way to describe a woman’s butt.

15. What is he even talking about?

h/t BuzzFeed and r/MenWritingWomen

Dean Altman

Written by Dean Altman

Dean Altman is a writer living in NYC.

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