Every year, millennials get blamed for the demise of certain industries. The people doing the blaming act like millennials have tons of money, they’re just choosing not to spend it on stuff like houses because they’re too interested in buying fancy coffee and organic avocado toast.
That’s a fallacy, though, because the main reason millennials are not spending big bucks in the housing market is not that they don’t want to own homes, it’s just that they don’t have the money with which to do it. Hello. Thanks for ruining the economy, Boomers. (Oh, AND THE ENTIRE EARTH, TOO.)
But that doesn’t stop the endless articles about what industry or product millennials have killed this week. And since it’s nearly the end of 2018, we thought we’d put together a list of allllllll the things that millennials have been accused of murdering this year. (And, if we’re going to blame millennials for everything, we should at least note that some of the things they’re supposedly ruining are bad things, so good for them.)
1. Print media
"millennials are killing the print news industry"
"TWO PAGES ABOUT KATE'S FINGERS"
"sir maybe we should…"
"TWO. FUCKING. PAGES." pic.twitter.com/GKLXtVN4MW
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) March 11, 2018
Millennials tend to get their news online, not from newspapers, so they’ve been blamed for killing print media. But then again, looking at what the newspapers run (really, two pages about royal fingers?), they can just go ahead and help themselves to their own share of that blame.
Millennials are killing porn by watching esports:https://t.co/NS2xkcnXrO
— MonteCristo (@MonteCristo) January 19, 2018
During the first day of Overwatch League (esports—it’s people playing video games), viewership of YouPorn dropped by about 9 percent. YouPorn reported having lower than normal rates for the whole first week after Overwatch League was launched. So what that means is that, for at least some of the time, millennials would rather watch people playing video games than people having sex.
Are millennials supporting restaurants and tipping delivery guys 30% killing inanimate objects like Maytag stoves? https://t.co/T6IKHXITGJ
— Kmarko (@Kmarkobarstool) July 10, 2018
Millennials order food a lot, so could they be responsible for the death of kitchens? Wait, are kitchens dying? Seems like they’re still pretty standard in most apartments and houses, right? So, no, I’m going to say millennials are not actually killing home-cooked meals or kitchens.
4. Credit cards
Oh no Millennials are killing the unsecured personal debt industry!!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/lNYbCJeOdW
— Wu-Tang Financial (@Wu_Tang_Finance) February 28, 2018
Uh-oh, millennials don’t want to spend a ton of money they don’t actually have by using credit cards, causing them to rack up huge amounts of personal debt. They’re killing credit cards!
Millennials are killing…
— David Marshall (@David_Marshall3) August 20, 2018
The idea that millennials killed mayonnaise all stemmed from an article written for Philadelphia magazine, which relied heavily on personal anecdotes. It turns out that mayo sales have actually been declining for years. But you will have no trouble finding mayo when you need it, and also, because condiment companies still need income, they’ve ventured out into new flavors of mayo. So nope, mayo is not dead and millennials haven’t killed it.
6. American cheese
Millennials are killing the American cheese industry; next victim is the entire dairy industry 💪🏼 pic.twitter.com/0neo7mgvSu
— Getchanoodlewet Ⓥ (@getchanoodlewet) October 13, 2018
American cheese has too many preservatives to ever actually die. But this accusation that the millennials are killing American cheese might be kind of true. According to Bloomberg, U.S. sales of processed cheese have been dropping for four years straight. It seems people are indeed moving away from the world of processed cheese.
"Millennials are killing big beer" is my favorite "millennials are killing <thing>" story.https://t.co/Zq3NKZ9hal
— Joshua Torrey (@benNuwn) July 27, 2018
Anheuser-Busch InBev, the maker of Budweiser and Bud Light, announced that revenue in the United States dropped by 3.1 percent. Millennials are increasingly opting for wines and spirits, according to Business Insider. So millennials may not love beer, but last time I checked, it was still definitely pretty easy to find.
Millennials are killing exorcisms. pic.twitter.com/RMHqVcY20f
— Ruthmas Cheer (@RuthieFizz) January 25, 2018
Well. This is…huh. So millennials are too scared to perform exorcisms? But does this mean that we’ll see a huge uptick in exorcisms when they get older?
9. Voting lines
Millennials are killing voting lines https://t.co/l1WfTEiiZb
— Suz (@TheSuzieHunter) November 6, 2018
All right, millennials are not actually killing voting lines. That’s a joke.
Like, literally just the companies that produce napkins. https://t.co/ofBzi3LDZy
— Lindy S. (@LinSheaS) November 8, 2018
According to the Washington Post, millennials prefer to use paper towels. Napkins, looks like your time here is up.