21 Reasons Shopping For Jeans Is Worse Than Medieval Torture

Trying on hats? Delightful and worthy of a movie montage. Trying on shoes? A great way to de-stress and treat yourself to something nice. Trying on jeans? Basically an elaborate form of female punishment which causes us to curse our tummy, ass, and thighs in one fell swoop.

Shopping for pants (specifically, jeans) is one of the most frustrating clothing experiences ever invented, and most people have to psych themselves up before they go into a poorly-lit dressing room armed with piles of denim they already know are going to fit weird. It takes an unending supply of optimism. It takes bravery. It takes a cookie from the food court afterward to ward off the PTPS (Post-Traumatic Pants Syndrome).

Here are just a few reasons most women would rather wax their own bikini line than go shopping for jeans:

1. Trying on jeans forces you to confront your body type, head on …

2. … Which usually leaves you with 0% of your self-esteem.

3. Tugging denim over your thighs makes you regret most of your life choices.

4. Especially if you’re trying on skinny jeans.

5. Like … for real. How do people remain dignified when they try on skinny jeans??

6. It’s practically cardio, for f*ck’s sake!

7. And let’s not even talk about the tiny, stupid little pockets that have zero use.

8. Or the stupid embellishments clothing companies seem to think women want??

9. The dressing rooms might as well be the 7th circle of Hell.

10. Why? Because those unforgiving mirrors and fluorescent lights make your ass cheeks look like cottage cheese!!

11. The inevitable noises are truly undignified.

12. Oh, and did I mention that the sizes are ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE?

13. I mean, what are us curvy gals supposed to do when the pants fit our butts but not our waists??

14. Seriously. The odds of finding a pair of jeans that somehow work for both your hips and your legs are right up there with getting bitten by a shark.

15. When you try on a pair and realize they’re actually LOW-RISE?

16. Although, TBF, high-waisted jeans come with their own set of burdens.

17. Like, high-waisted jeans are basically corsets and we should all stop pretending otherwise.

18. And what are you gonna do? Wear those jeans around at HOME? I don’t think so, pal.

19. Honestly, the whole process is confusing and frightening.

20. Remember when shopping was fun?? Yeah, well, not anymore.

21. Sadly, the search for a good pair of jeans is a lifelong journey … which will probably never end.