17 Horrific Dating Stories That’ll Make You Say ‘Hey, My Life Isn’t So Bad’

Sure, going out on dates can be fun and exciting, potentially leading to new relationships (or even just decent sex)—unfortunately, the probability of having one of these “good” dates is rarely in your favor. You’re far more likely to wind up seated across from someone nice yet underwhelming, with whom you experience zero chemistry whatsoever.

But, hey: it could always be worse! You could be like one of these poor Redditors, all of whom have spectacularly cringe-worthy dating stories.

It’s enough to have you reconsidering whether staying single isn’t the more enjoyable option…

1. This girl forgot to mention some pretty important information.

“A friend set me up with a girl he knew. She was cute, funny, smart, everything you hope for in a blind first date. After spending a good part of the day with her, we end up at this frozen yogurt spot. We talk for a bit and she mentions how much fun she had today. Then she says how much her boyfriend would like this spot and that we should all hang out next week. Never asked that friend to set me up ever again.”

2. Important: telling someone you want to wear their skin is a major turnoff.

“It was a blind date, we met up at a coffee shop close to our university. He was very high, and it was hard to get a conversation going. He just kept telling me I was as beautiful as the brick wall we were sitting next to, and that my skin looked soft enough to be made into a nice robe. The date lasted maximum 15 minutes.”

3. This guy is really setting the bar for men comically low.

“He was more than three hours late, and was texting me telling me that he was 20 minutes away for two of those hours. As soon as he arrived he tried to tell me to leave the part of the venue/dive bar I’d already paid in to so we could go where he wanted, tried to start a fight with a friend I’d happened to run into, and called my aunt (who’d talked me into going out with him in the first place) a ‘cockblocking bitch.’ I just walked away from him after that last one, and we never spoke again.”

4. Poor Furby.

“I dabbled into some online dating a while back when I was single. This one guy refused to meet me inside the coffee shop. Stupid me decided ‘I’ll meet him outside anyways.’ We walked around the little mall for a bit chatting about our jobs and such and what he wanted to do after our little ‘date.’ He ends up driving me home and showed me this Furby that he claims he likes to punch when he’s mad and busts out the ‘so can I get in your pants or naw?’”

5. Welcome to: every woman’s menstrual nightmare.

“My first date when I was 15. Got my period but didn’t notice it since I was too excited. On our way out, every single person in cafe noticed it since my whole ass was, actually, covered in blood. Never called me after that.”

6. Well … at least she got Taco Bell?

“A guy I worked with asked me out on a dinner date. He picked me up on time and, as we headed toward our dinner destination, he parked at an out of the way stop sign and proceeded to grope me. He grabbed at my crotch and breasts then got upset when I told him to stop. He got flustered and drove us to a Mexican restaurant but decided to use the drive-through. He asked what I wanted but refused to order anything for himself. When my food was handed over through the window he then drove off, claiming that he didn’t have any money to pay and that he wanted to drop me off because he had other things to do. (Obviously NOT me.)”

7. Nothing like getting to know one another over bins of basketball shorts!

“I didn’t know what he had planned for our first date. He picked me up and took me to a different city, to shop (for) gym clothes for him … since I couldn’t leave I endured, pissed. After a while, we had tea (from a really crappy place) and I had to pay for it because ‘he didn’t have money.’”

8. Hopefully his date wasn’t in the splash zone.

“I once puked on myself during a double date.”

9. A hit-and-run is obviously the most romantic way to start a date.

“This was more funny than bad but probably is the worst I have been on. I was on a Tinder date over a year ago and agreed to meet this girl to go for ice cream. She said she would pick me up along the way and within 30 seconds of meeting her, she reversed straight into my neighbour’s parked car. Not knowing what to do I let her get out and check for damage, she said it was fine and drove off. I looked in the wing mirrors and saw a big dent in the car, she also had a big dent in her car. Needless to say, it was an awkward ice cream and we did not see each other again.”

Texts From Last Night

Written by Texts From Last Night

Texts From Last Night is a regularly updated blog featuring funny lists, trending stories and re-posts of short text messages submitted by its users.