21 People Asked The Inappropriate Questions They Needed Answered

Life is full of those major questions. Where do babies come from? What’s the meaning of life? Eventually, you start pondering life’s other quirks and mysteries.  Here’s the problem though: a lot of them are so inappropriate that you never discover the answers Fortunately, a lot of people out there are bold enough to seek answers to the mysteries that haunt their everyday thoughts.

1. “People with huge penises, were you a kid with a big penis or does all that growing happen in your teens?

I went from very average at 14 to pretty above average at 18, so teenhood really did it for me. no real change since then though, which isn’t really bad.

2. “I want to ask every bank I’ve been to whether they’ve ever been robbed, but I feel like in a bank that’s a threatening question.”

Former teller here, Some banks are not allowed to tell you. At mine, procedure was if anyone asked you just say “I’m not sure but I haven’t been.” It’s a security issue. If you say yes they might think they can get away with it, if you say no they might think security is light since it hasn’t happened. Side note though, you go through a LOT of safety training. Recognizing what kind of robbery is happening and therefore how to react. Basics of it are if it’s a lone robber who passes a note, treat it like any other transaction and do as they ask. Look at their faces if they don’t tell you otherwise. If people walk in guns out and halt the bank, step back from your register and look down. These people are hostile, usually wearing masks because they do not want to be seen. Don’t piss them off by looking. That’s what the cameras are for. Training to be a teller was really fascinating security-wise.

3. “What happens to mentally ill people when their caretakers pass away? Who takes care of them if they can’t take care of themselves?”

Depends on the situation, but could be an assisted living facility, nursing home, or something similar. In cases where the person is disabled enough to not be able to manage for themselves and they have no family or friends helping, a social worker might get involved. Alternatively, they end up homeless.

4. “Do men find their penises flopping around while they run just as annoying and painful as a woman running without a sports bra?”

So here’s the thing, depending on the situation, the penis changes texture. For example, I’ve found that whenever I’m on the treadmill my penis gets really shriveled as the blood gets pumped elsewhere (my legs and such) and so the bouncing doesn’t really happen very much. Also, if it’s cold the penis shrivels as well. I can really only name like a handful of times I’ve noticed it slapping against a thigh, and every time it was very hot outside (like running on the beach).

5. “I’ve always noticed Indian families all go shopping together. You never just see the dad, always the mom, dad, two kids, grandma, etc. Why is this?”

Living in an area with a huge Indian population I had asked a girl this once as a kid. She said her family calls it an “outing” and it’s something between quality time with the family, and you know, actually getting some shopping done. I’m not sure how accurate this is for everyone but the answer made sense to me at the time.

6. “What’s it like having boobs in the in the process of growing? Like, they’re just starting to develop?”

You don’t really notice at first, just one day you look in the mirror and go “oh my…I should probably be wearing a bra.” Then you get your first one and it’s annoying because it feels like an undershirt that’s impossible to pull all the way down. Slowly you get used to it and then you just keep sizing up as you grow out of them.

7. “When you take a real good poo, you get that heavenly hollow feeling that’s just divine. Is having a baby like that but 1000x?”

Haha! Sort of. I could suddenly take a deep breath again, which was pleasant, and felt lighter and like I could bend in the middle again.

8. “What’re the little bumps that are on the perimeter of the nipple?”

Montgomery glands. They secrete oil to lube up the nip and sometimes the oil has a sweaty scent/taste which is intended to lead a feeding baby to the nipple.

9. “Wondering if anyone has actually had a swirly, like from a school bully. Is that just from cartoons?”

I’ve been beat up a lot. A LOT. Including in bathrooms. Never been swirlied.

10. “Do male identical twins have identical penis sizes?”

As an identical twin, can confirm that penis size between varies.
Texts From Last Night

Written by Texts From Last Night

Texts From Last Night is a regularly updated blog featuring funny lists, trending stories and re-posts of short text messages submitted by its users.