single life is really awesome, let’s get that out of the way. A night out usually consists of getting drunk AF, partying with all your friends, and never having to worry about another person the whole time. But, when you do find someone and luck out, that’s a whole different ball game.
When you do click with a certain someone, it can be pure magic. You can still get drunk AF with all your friends but you’ll have a partner that can take care of you and get your drunk ass home. Cool concept, right? And they’ll still probably be willing to have sex with you when your drunk ass asks for it. Jackpot! Here are the
best confessions to relationship gold.
1. Rumble From The Deep
She gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful? 2. Excellent Service
Topless wife hand washing shirt. Tonight marriage is good. 3. Double “Oh” Seven
She sucked my dick while i watched James Bond. And they say marriage sucks. 4. What Women Want
He gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. Best boyfriend ever. 5. Hold The Receipt
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I’m living the dream. 6. Guess Who’s Cumming To Dinner
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage. 7. In That Order
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage. 8. Seven Minutes
At a friend’s party and snuck into their hall closet so I could blow my husband. Felt like we were back in high school! 9. Bite Me
So…the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love you! 10. Not Much To Look At
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery – still got morning sex. Marriage rules some times! 11. Literal Mark
The mark of a great guy: when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you’re beautiful! 12. Love Is Infectious
I’m home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He’s either stupid, whipped, or i’m just THAT good. 13. Eu Te Amo!
“There just aren’t enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese”. My wife ladies and gentleman! Love ya babe. 14. Learned Something New
After a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men. 15. Aiming To Please
My wife just tried to justify to my why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of ‘well if its what you need’ 16. Crafty
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him…and he did a good job 17. Madden In Love With You
“Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We’ve got some Madden to beat.” You’re the best girlfriend ever.