Today, our relationships are defined as legitimate when we become “Facebook official.” People judge couples based on how many pictures they post on their social media accounts, and whether they make each other their #wcw/#mcm. It’s nice to be able to flaunt your bae by tagging him in your adorable pics, but I have some news for you – your relationship is not confined to your social networks. At all.
Let me tell you why. The best part of my relationship is that my boyfriend doesn’t have social media.
There is zero paranoia. Social media brings this overwhelming cloud of curiosity and insecurity in relationships. “OMG, he liked her selfie, what an asshole.” “Who is this girl and why does she follow my boyfriend?” “Why am I not his Snapchat best friend anymore?” My boyfriend doesn’t have a Facebook, so we’re not Facebook official BUT I promise you that we’re 100% legitimate. Hard to process, right? He doesn’t have an Instagram, but I can still post a picture of us that makes me smile on my own account. He doesn’t have a Snapchat, but I can send him funny selfies whenever I want.
The best part? I never have to worry about unnecessary and petty jealousy. I don’t have to be tempted to check his Snapchat best friends. I don’t have to worry about girls who follow him on twitter or Instagram. I don’t have to check his Twitter to see if he #subtweets me. We can ACTUALLY communicate with each other in a healthy, old-fashioned way instead of relying on virtual signals. Often times our generation gets so wrapped up in plastering our relationships all over the internet that we forget to truly be with each other. When you eliminate that social media aspect or at least keep it in moderation, it becomes that much easier.
Jealousy is a waste of time. I trust my boyfriend with every fiber of my being, and I know the feeling is mutual. I don’t need to cyber-stalk him every day to have some peace of mind. It’s a beautiful thing. Without all the drama of social media, those stresses are practically non-existent. It’s the best feeling in the world to know that our relationship isn’t virtual. We have so many fewer things to stress about and we can just focus on each other.
I’m not saying social media “ruins” relationships, but I am saying that they can make them difficult at times. We get jealous, we’re human. But social media practically forces us to put our relationship on display and offers a world of potential drama and stress-inducing factors that your relationship could definitely live without. In fact, it would probably thrive.
So think about that next time you’re tempted to stalk his followers or creep on his Snapchat best friends. He may not be the cause of your anxiety, maybe it’s the means of the social network you revolve your relationship around. And remember, at the end of the day, you’re dating each other. Not your computer screens.
This article originally appeared on Unwritten.